I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Can I color on your dick again?
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Randomize
