tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
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