I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
