i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
