covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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