its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
True strength comes from lack of pants
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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