Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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