You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
