I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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