she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize
