eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
