I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
