Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
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I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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