i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
