I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
