you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize