i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
only you would photoshop your dick
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
