M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
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