Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
You are the jesus of drinking
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
