if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize