I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
