ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
