i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
