I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
