His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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