She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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