wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Randomize