hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
