dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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