i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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