i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
