I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Randomize
