Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
