i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
