How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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