Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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