lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
