Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize
