well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Randomize
