so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Randomize