That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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