the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
