They should really pass out barf bags in church
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
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