i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
