He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
