operation harelip BJ is a go
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I could fuck to npr.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
