I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
two words...techno handjob
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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