what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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