he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
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