Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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