They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
