I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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