Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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