two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize