i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
