I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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