She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
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