"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
