Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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